"I knew she'd pick the salmon-colored one. Or, at least, it looks salmon-colored on our TV, " I said as Mr. M. and I prepared to watch Hillary Clinton's speech at the Democratic National Convention.
"What do you mean?"
"The pantsuit. Or is it a skirt-suit? She's behind the podium already..."
"It's a pantsuit," Mr. M. said. "I saw her come onto the stage."
Holding the buttered slice of banana bread from our late dinner that I'd decided to carry over to the couch, thus missing Hillary's pantsuited entrance, I sat down. "They were testing the pantsuits earlier. It was on Drudge," I said, biting into the bread. "There were four different pantsuits, and they were holding them up to see which color went best against the backdrop, and I had a feeling she'd pick..."
"I don't know. Her handlers, I guess. At least the attack necklace is gone."
"Hmm?" he asked.
"The necklace. It's a nice little one. Do you remember during the primaries when Hillary kept appearing with those giant chunky necklaces that looked like they were attacking her neck? She's got a shortish neck, like me, and you just can't wear..."
I stopped talking as Hillary started.
"She's pretty boring," said Mr. M.
"I know. This feels like she's sleepwalking through it."
"It's the same old stuff."
"I wonder what the message is? She just said, "...fight for the future..." like Mark Warner. Do you think that's it?"
"I'm not sure they have a message," said Mr. M.
We got quiet again.
"Ha! Standing up for the invisible people. How 'bout the unborn, Hillary? They're pretty invisible..."
"Free health care for Puerto Rico? You've got to be kidding me..."
"Do you see Bill, mugging for the camera? The guy's a consummate actor."
"I wonder who picked out Michele's dress. I think it looks terrible! Way too shapeless..."
A few more minutes of listening.
"Man, this is boring."
"Is Harriet Tubman..."
"Underground railroad. You know, the..."
"Yeah, I know. The last name just sounded weird for some reason."
"I hate it when that happens."
"Good Lord. We're going to talk about Suffragism now??"
"She's spent most of the speech talking about herself."
"Thank goodness it's over..."
"Wait. Did Brian Williams just say, '...that speech by President Clinton??"
"I guess Hillary's not the only one who's wishing for that..."
"I'm going to go see what people are saying about the speech. I'm pretty sure that will be much more interesting than the speech itself was..."
UPDATE: Wow. On the Internet that pantsuit looks light orange. I think we may need to start thinking about a new TV...