Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Silly; Don't Read

So, today, Mark Shea takes on Rad-Trads at Inside Catholic.

And Patrick Archbold has a very good response.

I have nothing but tomfoolery to offer; the first about Rad-Trads, and the second a "repeat" of a poem I wrote over in Mark's comboxes a year or so ago when the "neo-Cath" faction of traditionalist N.O. types who are suspicious of Protestant converts were being discussed over there.

I have many apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan; but I hope no one will find these as anything other than silliness. They're not meant to offend:

I am the Very Model of a Modern Rad-Traditional

I am the very model of a modern Rad-Traditional
I've information Latin and liturgic-inquisitional
I know the work of Modernists and people even sillier
And can recite the names of forty bishops, pre-Conciliar
I'm very well acquainted too, with matters Mass-grammatical
I'll tell you why the words "for all" require a sabbatical,
As to the bad new music I posses the means to measure it
With special focus on the dreck of the St. Louis Jesuits

I'm very good at sniffing out indifference and irreverence
And punishing the bad with all the force of social severance
In short, in matters Latin and liturgic-inquisitional
I am the very model of a modern Rad-Tradtional!

[...]

In fact, when I know what is meant by "agape" and "caritas"
When I can judge between bad innovations and "varietas"
When Jewish domination I no longer in each theory see
And when I know precisely why it's nuts to say, conspiracy
When I discover that the Novus Ordo Mass is still the Mass
When I can give a nervous server's errors a forgiving pass
In short, when I remember that it's not my job to judge them all
You'll say a more reformed Rad-Trad has truly never heard the call

For my charitable impulse, though I'm expert in validity
Has suffered just a bit in the degree of its timidity,
But still in matters Latin and liturgic-inquisitional
I am the very model of a modern Rad Traditional!

I Am a Neo-Cath

Oh, better far to live and die,
Under the Papal Flag I fly;
Than to play a sanctimonious part,
With a Protestant Convert's graceless heart.
Away to the Gay New World go you
To float in the Spirit of Vatican II...
But I'll stand firm, on the St. Blog's Path,
And live and die...a NeoCath!

For I am a NeoCath!
(He is! Hurrah for the NeoCath!)
And it is a felt-banner burning thing
To be a NeoCath!
I am a NeoCath!
(You are! Hurrah for the NeoCath!)
And it is a great gobsmacking thing
To be a NeoCath!
(It is! Hurrah for the NeoCath; hurrah for the NeoCath!)

When I sally forth in polemical way,
To enter a great blog-combox fray,
I encounter other Catholics there,
Who have all the wit of a Haugen air;
But even those who are on my side,
If they show too much ex-Protestant pride,
Can count on me, to take up the slack:
Then turn and stab them in the back!

For I am a NeoCath!
(He is! Hurrah for the NeoCath!)
And it is a truly righteous thing
To be a NeoCath!
I am a NeoCath!
(You are! Hurrah for the NeoCath!)
And it is a rather fluid thing
To be a NeoCath!
(It is! Hurrah for the NeoCath; hurrah for the NeoCath!)

9 comments:

Alexandra said...

You are bad, LOL. I couldn't help but sing this.

Anonymous said...

Killing humans by other humans is wrong. Buddhist principle; don't kill anything that had life or was living.

Intellectual doodles are interesting but what's the upshot? Pro-choice results in pro-life? Why, or why not?

Patrick Archbold said...

Well done Red!

You truly have a gift!

John Thayer Jensen said...

What in the world is this supposed to mean??

Killing humans by other humans is wrong. Buddhist principle; don't kill anything that had life or was living.

Intellectual doodles are interesting but what's the upshot? Pro-choice results in pro-life? Why, or why not?


jj

Histor said...

It's a new language, Mr. Jensen. Try it out...

Poetic lack of rhythms are poisoning us all. Perhaps we can fix you up, perhaps we'll just discuss a religion and watch you meditate. Who will you vote for - the fat rock or someone with a toupee?

Histor

Red Cardigan said...

John, Histor, I think the commenter in question meant to post his/her comment in the thread below this one.

Maclin said...

Very funny, even though I can't place the tune of the 2nd one (not deeply acquainted with G&S).

Red Cardigan said...

Thanks, Maclin! The second is the "I am a Pirate King" song from The Pirates of Penzance.

Lee Strong said...

Dang, to get something that clever up that fast - I'm impressed.