Just a couple of weeks ago, I felt like I was blogging practically everything I was thinking. In the days leading up to the election it seemed like America couldn't possibly do what I feared we were about to, and elect the most pro-abortion candidate ever to be our president. Like many of you I wrote, talked, argued and discussed, pouring energy into every word, hoping that enough people, especially enough Catholics, would re-think their support of a person so terribly committed to the Culture of Death.
But it happened, and many of us wrote and talked about that too, from the standpoint of our heartsick disappointment and grave fears for the future.
That disappointment is still palpable, and those fears no less grave. But in the intervening days I admit to feeling a somewhat depressed frustration, a sense that we're going to have four years of nonstop agony over the rolling back of all the protection of the unborn thus far enacted and of a growing movement in our nature to dismantle traditional marriage to the point of nonsense, and similar social evils--and that we'd be better off finding a "nice safe cage" to hide in than to bother trying to reach our fellow citizens or convert our fellow Catholics or otherwise do anything to stop the inevitable onslaught.
And that's a temptation, of course. God doesn't let us run away and hide and let evil triumph. He will have work for us to do, and some of it will be writing, and some of it will be action. He will lead us when the time is right to stand in opposition to the cruel and bloodthirsty spirit of the age, that preys on unborn children and the disabled and the elderly with all the hatred the Enemy has for God's image in us.
But now the way ahead is dark, and like short-legged hobbits on a snowy path that seems to be leading nowhere at all we can't seem to see what lies before us, or how any good can come from the evil that oppresses us.
I've started a few times this week to write about this news article or that blog post someone else put together, only to wonder if there's any point. Before the election I was shouting; now I'm huddled at a corner table in a deserted pub with a handful of friends, talking in hushed voices about the election of an opponent who hates just about everything we stand for; it's dispiriting, and I've let it get to me.
I still find myself thinking "President Obama? Really?? What were they thinking?" from time to time. I read about the growing and worsening economic crisis and think gloomily that the one good thing about not having much saved is not having much to lose; I doubt seriously that the inexperienced Obama will have a clue what to do about any of it, and worry that his solutions are going to sound a lot like this. But when I sit down to write about it, I think of the throngs of people chanting "Yes We Can!" and thinking Obama was going to pay for their gas and mortgages and everything else, all for free, just like magic--and I shrug and go do something else instead.
So, while I have been busy in other ways, and have had other obligations, the truth is that I always seem to find time to write blog posts, so that's not entirely behind my slacking this week. In all honesty, I still feel rather lost whenever I think about what the next four years are going to bring, in terms of more unborn children dying, doctors and other health care workers losing their freedom to refuse to participate in the killing, a greater push for euthanasia (especially if universal health care is passed), and the drive to destroy marriage.
I know that things will get better, but I think they'll get a lot worse, first. It's made it hard to get back into that rhythm of reading and commenting on news events and other things, this worry and the wish to hide in Custard's cage with him, and let Ink, Blink, Mustard and Belinda handle things for the next four years. But I'll get there--it helps to have this blog, and to hear from so many like-minded people who aren't ready to enshrine the Culture of Death as our inevitable way of life--and I'm grateful to all of you for keeping me from just giving up and moving to some other country where I won't know the language and won't have any idea how bad things are getting. :)