Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The WEASEL plan

So many people have already written about this, but I wanted to chime in anyway:
There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation. Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to
This is an unprecedented attack on free speech, an unwarranted interference by the government into the private business of private citizens, a totally uncalled-for intimidation tactic by the federal government, and too many more things to mention; I refer you to Jimmy Akin's post on the matter, though there have been other excellent discussions as well.

But what really disappoints me here is that the federal government is going to go through all the trouble of getting Americans to spy on each other and report to the government, yet they have not bothered to come up with a cool sinister acronym for the program. C'mon, now, Obama White House! You know you can't get very far with nefarious plans that lack this essential ingredient!

I suggest the following name for the government call for snitches about health care program: the Washington Effort for Americans to Snitch via Electronic Letters, or WEASEL. Citizens who chose to join project WEASEL could wear a hat or shirt embroidered with the acronym, proudly announcing to their fellow citizens that they are WEASELs and will share any suspicious health-care email or conversation they hear from or receive from you with the federal government. Every WEASEL in America will lurk tirelessly on websites like FreeRepublic and other known right-wing hotbeds in the hopes of catching someone spreading disinformation; then, with true WEASEL instincts, they'll copy, paste, and FWD:FWD:FWD: to the federal government as well as their three thousand closest friends at various liberal websites, or in their political groups on Facebook or Twitter.

WEASELs will also watch Fox News for fifteen minutes or until their eyes glaze, whichever comes first, and will listen for little-know conservative commentators who might slip a "psst! This Health Care plan is rotten!" past the censors' listening ears. Oh, sure, there aren't actually any censors yet, but just wait until the Fairness Doctrine gets passed, and shuts down all that "disinformation" that's caused whenever anybody questions the goodness and beneficence of the federal government and its works and pomps! The WEASELs can't wait!

In short, if the government is going to encourage people to act like WEASELs, we may as well make it official. Who knows--the t-shirts may be worth something someday on Ebay, so long as Ebay is still legal.


Anonymous said...

Although I'm sure there is plenty of misinformation about the health care bill (from both the left and the right, I might add), reporting them to the government just aint' right! I'd much rather send some one a link to than report them to Big Brother.

Magister Christianus said...

Erin, I posted on this at I was sure I had heard of this kind of thing before (read with snarky inflection).

Edward Shuman said...

Don't suspect a friend -- report him.

Deirdre Mundy said...

Can we report congressmen and administration figures? Like the ones using impossible math? And who claim that all will be perfect?

Seriously, though...what are they smoking at the whitehouse these days? Last time I checked, we lived OUTSIDE the Soviet Bloc.

Scott W. said...

It occurred to me that I would be willing to meet with any government official on my schedule and at their expense and give an account of every word I have written.

But my suspicion is that those conditions won't fly and that this is similar to the Canadian Human Rights Commission in which the process will be the punishment.

eulogos said...

While we are in paranoia mode (perhaps justified) I just clicked on your link to Creative Minority Report and got this message:

Google Error

We're sorry...
... but your query looks similar to automated requests from a computer virus or spyware application. To protect our users, we can't process your request right now.

We'll restore your access as quickly as possible, so try again soon. In the meantime, if you suspect that your computer or network has been infected, you might want to run a virus checker or spyware remover to make sure that your systems are free of viruses and other spurious software.

If you're continually receiving this error, you may be able to resolve the problem by deleting your Google cookie and revisiting Google. For browser-specific instructions, please consult your browser's online support center.

If your entire network is affected, more information is available in the Google Web Search Help Center.

We apologize for the inconvenience, and hope we'll see you again on Google.

Susan Peterson