Wednesday, December 16, 2009

What Christmas song drives you crazy?

Let's suppose you're out for the afternoon; you're driving and listening to the radio, perhaps, or you are shopping in stores where Christmas music is playing in an endless loop as it has been since the "Back to School" sales signs came down in September (I kid, but not by much, alas).

Then it comes on. That song. That one that makes you grit your teeth in a way that delights your dentist but wreaks havoc on your ability to enjoy Christmas candy. The one that causes you to mutter and look enviously at senior citizen shoppers who have only to turn down their hearing aids to escape the horror. The one that makes you wish that Eris would arise and sow all the discord she can muster upon that minx Euterpe. That horrible, horrible Christmas song.

Okay. What is it?

For me, Paul McCartney's drivelish drooling display of dulcet dreadfulness titled Wonderful Christmastime is that song, though it narrowly edged out Band-Aid's jarring Do They Know It's Christmas, which at least has the excuse of being a fundraiser.

My girls' unanimous choice, though, was Taylor Swift's Last Christmas, which they dislike for the overall sappiness as well as the fact that the thing has been played incessantly and is fast becoming a Christmas earworm.

Thad dislikes most Christmas music, on the excellent grounds that he gets sick of it in early October and then has two more months of increasing Christmas-music air time before radios go back to playing back-to-back commercials with the occasional song thrown in. Two older songs he doesn't much like to hear are Little Drummer Boy and Do You Hear What I Hear? But the songs he really dislikes most are what he calls the sad Christmas songs, and he mentioned Karen Carpenter's Merry Christmas Darling as a prime example of this type.

Okay: your turn! What Christmas song drives you crazy by December 25 each year?

UPDATE: AAAAGH! How could I ever forget the All Time Worst Song Ever to be Played on the Radio at Christmastime???

26 comments:

Dawn Farias said...

All of them. I have been listening to Christmas music for "the children's sake" this year. I don't have that gene.

Bethany Hudson said...

"Santa Baby." Ick. Ick! On so many levels.

opey124 said...

I don't like the Band Aid song either (Do they know it's Christmas time).

freddy said...

I don't listen to the radio, and when I go out I've always found it easy to tune out whatever drivel is drooling out of the store's speakers. None of the songs you mentioned really bother me, although I don't recall "Last Christmas" (and don't know who Taylor Swift is).

However, there is one song that does drive me nuts at Christmas: the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's "Messiah." Drives. Me. Nuts. It's an Easter song, darnit! Now, yes, I'm aware that the whole point of Christmas is Easter, but they do deserve separate celebrations and every time I hear that song I just want to shout, "We're not there yet!"

Melody said...

That one about the little boy wanting to buy shoes for his dying mother. So deliberately maudlin and emotionally manipulative.

Melanie B said...

I Saw mommy Kissing Santa Claus, Santa Baby and all the other songs that sexualize Santa are the worst. Absolutely teeth gritting. Though there are plenty of other songs that annoy me.

Anonymous said...

"Christmas Shoes" and Maureen Sullivan's "Christmas Eve in Washington"...and of course "Do They Know It's Christmas" by Band Aid.

Jocelyne said...

For me, it's tie between that above-mentioned horrible Paul McCartney song and John Lennon's "And So This is Christmas" (or whatever it's called). Either one will immediately drive me from whatever store I'm in when I hear it. I don't listen to the radio in the car or anything, because it's generally so awful anyway. But those two songs ... I genuinely despise with every fibre of my being.

Anonymous said...

The dogs that bark Jingle Bells and Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.

momtomany12 said...

I don't know the name but the other day in the grocery store, I felt like running out after hearing some drivel about "....waiting for the man with the bag....: Horrible!!!

JJ said...

The one with the guy and the girl where she's trying to leave (or playing hard to get) and he's asking her to stay ... creeps me out!

Anonymous said...

I love Christmas Carols, but I have to say I absolutely can't stand "Santa Baby" and the Christmas Shoes song. I don't mind some sad Christmas songs like "the Coventry Carol" but something about that song just irritates me. Of course I get annoyed by Whitney Houston's version of Do You Hear What I Hear too......why can't we learn the words to a song before we perform it??

j. christian said...

Ha ha, I really like Do They Know It's Christmas?. I can't speak for Bob Geldof's maudlin lyrics, but I always liked Midge Ure's (of Ultravox) music.

And Do You Hear What I Hear? and Little Drummer Boy are also on my favorites list. Love the Andy Williams and Perry Como versions of DYHWIH.

Actually, I prefer the more traditional, melancholy carols like Greensleeves and Coventry Carol, but I can appreciate almost anything.

Except, as someone else mentioned, the ones that sexualize Santa. Ick. I draw the line there.

Deirdre Mundy said...

Santa baby is definitely Ick.

"Baby it's cold outside" used to bother me, but doesn't now that I've seen the movie (Neptune's Daughter)--The bit where Red Skelton does it is HILARIOUS! And it takes on a whole new meaning when you realize the people singing it are in Southern California!

Charlotte (Matilda) said...

Sorry to disagree with Thad, but Christmas just isn't the same without listening to the Carpenters! Granted, that one song is a bit sappy for my tastes, but I could listen to that woman sing anything! What a voice she had!

OK, have to concur with the ick of Santa Baby, Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and the like and I admit that I turn the radio off every time the show song comes on. I'm not that familiar with the Band Aid song (is that the band's real name?) but I don't mind Paul McCartney.

I think it's so funny that nobody here mentioned the recently voted number one worst Christmas song, John Denver's Please Daddy...Don't Get Drunk This Christmas or All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth. Bruce Springsteen's Santa Claus is Coming To Town is usually on the list too. I like that one though and usually start laughing when I hear him laughing at the end.

This was fun! Thanks, Red! Now let's have a favorite song post!

Deirdre Mundy said...

Hmmm.. I actually LIKE "All I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth!" Maybe because my daughter is at tooth-losing age?

Otepoti said...

Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum.

It would definitely sound better backwards.

Mup-mup-mup-mur-AP.

Yes. Much better.

Charlotte (Matilda) said...

Oh, Deirdre, I just meant that that one usually finds itself on some "official list" of worst Christmas songs. Not that I think it should be. Now, the John Denver song... that's another story! : )

Dirtdartwife said...

Can't believe no one has mentioned anything neurotically annoying being sung by the Chipmunks. To me, that's like dragging nails down a chalkboard.

And I can't stand any song that sexualizes Santa either. So Santa Baby and I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa drives me nuts.

LarryD said...

The duet by Bing Crosby & David Bowie. Finding a hairball in your glass of water is a more pleasant experience.

Tim J. said...

I'm with you on "Do They Know It's Christmas?", and don't forget, "Happy X-mas/War is Over" by John Lennon and the Plastic "Oh, NO!" Band. :-)

I have to say, though... worst ever? "Christmas Shoes". Exquisitely awful.

Daddio said...

It would be easier for me to make a list of Christmas songs I do like. My general irritation is that there must be literally hundreds or thousands of Christmas albums in existence, and they play the same dang versions of the same 20 songs over and over and over again. Some of them are fine, but how about a little VARIETY?????

Anonymous said...

Agree with Daddio. Would appreciate if the same song will be sung repeatedly, that renditions of different versions would 'break the monotony'. Listening to NPR provides quite a variety, and fortunately it's mostly melodic, or not directly related to Christmas.

Someone at work thinks the day after Thanksgiving is time to bring in all 50 CDs they have and play them non-stop while we're working. So, tedious--tend to tune them out after a while.

The blare in the Mall is overwhelming along with robust temperatures while wearing winter clothing.

Our tradition is to sing Silent Night on Christmas Eve. A favorite when the kids were little was singing parts with Go Tell it on the Mountain ala Mahalia Jackson.

Margaret Mary said...

I've finally tuned in to the local all-holiday-music station after avoiding it since Thanksgiving and am amazed to hear how few actual Christmas-themed songs they play. When we do get one that alludes to the birth of Christ, it's almost invariably Little Drummer Boy or Do You Hear What I Hear (and both of those are on my automatic edit list). Christmas Shoes is also on that list but my family has found it extremely helpful to make up alternative lyrics that help dispel the earworm. ;-)

Dino said...

Lots of irritating "Christmas" songs here that make me glad I don't have a radio or TV any more.
I'm bilingual, English-Spanish, and Feliz Navidad is, to me, one of the most obnoxious.
Don't care for any Christmas song, religious or secular, if a "stylist" screeches and skids through it rarely finding the tune.
Little Drummer Boy gets old quick, but always did like it as done by the late Johnny Cash.

Anonymous said...

HAAAVVE a holly jolly Christmas...

Yeah, I'm good for one verse and one chorus of that, then I start looking for the exits.