The woman's hatred for her unborn child was greater than the love and help being offered to her by more than two hundred people.
Now, the last time I spoke of abortion as an act of hatred, I got quite a response from people. The word ruffled some feathers. But I think that's because our culture doesn't really know what hatred is, anymore than we know what love is.
We tend to think of both love and hatred as feelings, emotional surges, chemical reactions in our bodies. Love is that nice warm happy feeling that makes us feel connected to people we're pleased to be around; hate is that cold dark ugly feeling we have for people we don't like anymore. It's a simplistic and childish view of both things--but it's about as emotionally deep as we get in modern America.
I can't, obviously, in a short post on a Sunday afternoon, get into the philosophical depth and richness behind both terms; but I can point out that from a deeper perspective, it is true to say that love is an act of the will in which the self so greatly seeks the good of the other that the self is willing to sacrifice the self in pursuit of that good, while hatred is an act of the will in which the self so greatly desires for evil to befall the other that the self is willing to sacrifice the other in pursuit of that evil.
So when I speak of the abortive mother's hatred of the unborn child she carries, I am using the term in that sense. I do not mean that the abortive woman dislikes babies, or feels anger or contempt for the child in her womb, or that this hatred has anything much to do with feelings at all. I do mean that from the moment the abortive woman learns of the presence of the child in her womb, she wishes nothing but evil to come to that child--she wishes, in fact, for the child to cease to live and to be (though not cease to exist: he exists, and she hates his very existence, but killing him will not change the fact of his existence at all--he will always be the child she killed).
So great is her desire for this particular evil, this cessation of life and being, that she is perfectly willing to sacrifice him to it. If she can only achieve this goal by paying a doctor to go inside her womb and cut her baby into tiny pieces and pull his shattered remains out of her body and dispose of his broken, bloody corpse as medical waste, that is fine--she will do it. She quite literally wants nothing to do with her child, and will not be able to satisfy her hatred by, for example, allowing him to remain in her womb for, say, 27 more weeks and then giving him up for adoption to a couple who will love him as their own. No, I have actually heard pro-abortion women say they'd rather have an abortion than give a baby up for adoption, because knowing their child was still "out there" somewhere would ruin their lives.
Now, in describing this kind of woman, I am not describing those whose testimony can be found in many places online and off--the women who wept and begged and sobbed their way through abortions, the women who didn't want to kill their babies and felt pushed into the act by others or by their own fear or sense of desperation, the women who masked the hatefulness of the actual act with pleas for the baby they were about to kill to forgive them. I am also not describing those so ignorant of the anatomy of human reproduction that they remain convinced that their unborn child of, say, six to twelve weeks gestation was a non-living blob of shapeless uterine tissue. I would venture to say that the former describes a whole lot of women, and the latter an unfortunate amount--but these descriptions don't fit all who abort their unborn children.
Sadly, there are others who quite coldly decide that the hatefulness of the act of abortion is perfectly satisfactory to them, that the baby they carry is not deserving of his life, and that seeing to it that he is dead and gone as soon as possible is the only way to deal with the ugly problem of his presence.
Something that is even sadder to me is that some of these women then go on to convince themselves that, really, the abortion was a loving act. They loved their boyfriends or husbands too much to burden them with a baby (or another baby, as the case might be). They loved their already-born children too much to inconvenience them with an unwanted brother or sister. They loved their parents too much to embarrass them with an out-of-wedlock grandchild.
But love isn't something we ration, and real love doesn't kill off the baby, the brother or sister, the grandchild for the crime of inconvenient existence. Whoever the abortive woman claims to love by the act of abortion, it is certain that the one person she hates--again, in the sense I explained above--is the child who, she has decided, simply must not continue to live, and bother everyone by his upsetting and embarrassing and inconvenient life. And that is the most hateful thing a woman can possibly decide about one of her own children.
UPDATE: I think there's still some confusion as to what I mean by this. If you think that hatred is only an emotion then you're not going to agree with my framework here; we'll have to come up with some other word meaning "I wish you were dead and I'm going to take steps to make it so," I guess.
However, I would like to show an example, from this forum, of the sort of things that I mean when I talk about hatred of the unborn. I'm not linking directly to people's quotes or citing their usernames here, but you can see for yourself at the link above that I'm not making these up:
- I had mine after my 3rd child, and with my husband's fetus. It has been 5 years now. Never had a pang of guilt. I did it because I didn't want to take away from my 3 kids that we already have. THEY are my life and my priority.
- I had an abortion and I'll never feel ashamed for it. The guy that got me pregnant, that I was engaged to at the time, cut and run as soon as he saw the pregnancy test. I was in college at the time as well.
- Yes, abortion is painful but it shouldn't be punishment. Our bodies are our own, they are not factories, farms or warehouses. I've been through therapeutic abortion, miscarriage, childbirth and motherhood. I don't regret any of my choices.
- I had an abortion three years ago. While I think about it fairly often, I never second-guess my choice. It's what I needed, and it sounds like it's what you need, too. Be prepared for the crazy change in your hormones. Your body was gearing up to grow a fetus, and when it's suddenly not anymore, things can get interesting. Think PMS-like feelings, but more so. You'll be sore, so try to make some time to lay around and feel crappy. But you'll get through this. You're strong enough to determine and act on your own behalf, in spite of a lack of support from your community, so I know you'll be strong enough to get through the aftermath. If you're feeling too alone, check out Ms. Magazine. They have a running list, so to speak, of women who have had abortions. All the women on the list (myself included) have signed to let other women know they're not alone.
- i had an abortion 2 years ago. i was dating a [removed] and it was my 25th birthday. i got the twilight sedation, but i have a high tolerance for drugs and it didn't knock me out...was just loopy. i was awake for everything and it really wasn't so bad. they gave me vicodin for the pain and it just felt like bad period cramps for about 2 days afterwards. it was the best decision i ever made, having a baby with that guy at that time would have ruined my life and the kids life.
I did it before and I’d do it again. I am not ashamed or embarrassed. My children know that I have had an abortion. It is not a secret part of my life. I would advise anyone to do it. Abortion should be covered by insurance, by Medicaid/care, supplied by the “state”. Cheap and available to any woman for any or no reason whatsoever. Although abortion is legal in this country, most women do not have access to safe and affordable abortion, some medical schools no longer even teach doctors this important element of women’s health.These post-abortive women show no acknowledgment whatsoever--and certainly no regrets--that they ended the life of the unborn human being growing inside of them. I don't know what to call that except "hatred," especially when compared to the grief and tears of women I've known who have miscarried a little one--and the grief and tears of other abortive women who sincerely mourned their misguided "choice." Perhaps there is a different word--but, again, I don't know a good word in the English language for "I'm going to kill you as quickly as possible and then ignore the fact that you ever lived for the rest of my life."
UPDATE TWO: One more time: abortion is an act of hatred. Can we not at least agree that the direct, intentional killing of an innocent person is an act of hatred? Saying that does not mean that we don't all have deep sympathy for any woman who has suffered because of abortion, or that we are speaking primarily about the woman's feelings, or any such thing. But I'm not quite sure what's so hard to grasp about the idea that killing somebody--deliberately, intentionally--is fundamentally an act of hatred.
I'm sorry if this is too easily misunderstood, but we're already hearing from the pro-euthanasia people that killing an elderly or disabled relative--or helping them kill themselves--is really a "loving" choice. It's very important that we are clear that it is not, no matter what the appearances might be.
UPDATE THREE: I'm still feeling like I haven't successfully gotten my point across here. But I don't have the time to keep defining things. Christ tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves; a woman's unborn child is much more than her neighbor. That's the principle from which I'm operating, anyway.
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