Well, I haven't spoken up before about this but both what you said (unintentionally?) AND what Obama said reveal a deep fallacy in the way we think about abortion. Babies are a woman's problem.I realize that there are men who are deeply, significantly hurt by abortion, who mourn the loss of their unborn babies and suffer in ways too numerous to mention here; I wrote about that subject here. But the fact remains that as far as most men are concerned, abortion isn't a bug in the world of consequence-free sex: it's a feature. And an important one.
It takes two people to make a child, and until in this country, we hold men just as accountable for the children they father, as their " baby killing mothers", abortion will never end. What Obama said essentially " until our daughters are just as able to walk away from their babies as our sons..." really gets at the heart of the problem as I see it and no matter how much blame you want to put upon women for "Getting themselves into this mess in the first place", it still takes two to make a baby, and trust me, God won't forget that.
The laws in our states treat men like sperm donors when it comes to abortion--but like fathers when it comes to child support and responsibility for their offspring. The man has no rights and no responsibilities when it comes to the woman he has impregnated and their child, if--and it's a big if--she chooses to pay someone to kill that child. He's not even legally required to pay for the killing (though some guys will generously offer to finance the executions of their unborn sons and daughters, out of the goodness of their hearts, and their desire not to be saddled with...but I'm getting ahead of myself).
But if she chooses to keep the child--then, suddenly, the man is no longer a sperm donor in the eyes of the law, but a father. He is going to be responsible for child support for his offspring until the little tyke is eighteen. He may be expected to share custody. He's certainly going to be pressured to stick around, at least a little. It's a pretty heavy price to pay for a thoughtless round of casual sex, right?
At least, that's what we say when we're talking about the woman's right to kill her child, so as not to be stuck with parental responsibilities she hadn't intended on facing. But somehow, men are supposed to sit back, let the woman make her "choice," and be prepared either to walk away from their now-dead child, or to pay for the living child's first eighteen years of life.
How many men in this situation think that the mother of their child owes them an abortion?
I would be willing to bet that it's a rather large number. The whole point of "choice" was to make sex a fun evening's entertainment among any people instead of a sacred embrace between a man and a woman who, having first taken the step of making a public committment to each other, were fully prepared to raise any children who became the living symbols of their parents' love--indeed, the children were a feature of such a relationship, not an unpleasant side-effect to be avoided at all cost. "Choice" meant that women were just as free as men to pursue transient sexual relationships, from the one-night-stand or casual hookup to the so-called "committed relationship" which is defined as a relationship between two people who do not actually love each other enough to enter into a public civic and/or religious committment to each other, but instead make a private verbal committment which is worth exactly as much as verbal contracts usually are (e.g., not worth the paper they're not written on)--and everything in between. Because "choice" meant that women could become sexually permissive and promiscuous just like men, "choice" also meant that women who became pregnant during this sort of activity were going to exercice the "choice" that killed off the unwanted unborn child and got their men friends completely off the hook--so it's no wonder that some men, having discovered that this unspoken gentlemen's agreement is going to be violated by the woman he most recently enjoyed, and that he's going to be expected to pay for nearly two decades for a rather fleeting pleasure, discover their inner murderers and act accordingly.
By framing the whole abortion question around the woman, our society has left men--fathers--in a ridiculous position. If the mother of their child chooses to exercise her right to pay someone to kill that child for her, the father can move on with his life as the father of a dead baby, and never have to give the child another moment's thought--and if he doesn't want his baby to die, too bad! It's not his choice.
But if she chooses life--he's involved, financially and legally and morally, whether he wants to be or not. This gives men, especially the sort of men who find the life of casual sex preferable to the real commitment of marriage, a vested interest in abortion: in keeping it legal, in insisting that the women he is involved with are all in favor of it, and in pressuring any woman he impregnates to make the "choice" that doesn't require any effort, now or later, from him.
Some men have started questioning this double standard, and though the lawsuits mentioned in this story have failed to proceed, the question asked is a logical one for our present society with its disdain for morality and the traditional family: if the choice to have the baby or kill it is entirely the woman's, then shouldn't the responsibility for raising the child be entirely the woman's too? How can we treat men like negligible sperm donors one minute, and insist that they be fathers the next?
Those of us who do value morality and the traditional family look at things differently, but there's no denying that our culture values neither. So until or unless our culture decides to answer that question in such a way that does not give men a vested interest in abortion, abortion will remain a man's best friend--at least, for those men who disrespect women enough to view them as sterile sex objects instead of the future mothers of their children.