I've been having some nice chats with my mom about this HHS Mandate business. When I say "nice chats" I mean, of course, that we are achieving harmoniously similar and mutual levels of wrath over the notion, which is really nice in that mother-daughter bonding sort of way. :)
Mom has an idea that I suspect she'd like me to share; I think it's not a bad one, all things considered. She pointed out that when you buy a car (for instance) you buy car insurance. Nobody forces you to pay for motorcycle insurance for all those people who want to own motorcycles (or boat insurance, or RV insurance, etc.). It is understood that the choice to own and ride a motorcycle is a lifestyle choice which includes some built-in costs, and one of those costs is special motorcycle insurance which is separate from your ordinary car insurance. Motorcycle insurance isn't all that expensive and is pretty accessible to most people who want to own motorcycles.
So why (asks Mom, and I agree) can't we remove what is essentially lifestyle insurance from ordinary medical coverage? Why can't insurance companies offer special anti-reproduction insurance policies to people who want lots of sex without the possibility of conception? Why can't these policies be purchased entirely separately from one's health insurance?
Employers wouldn't, in this scenario, be forced to provide anti-reproduction insurance to their employees at all, though some of them could certainly (and would certainly) choose to offer it as a "perk," just as some employers offer life insurance or accidental death insurance and the like. And just like those insurance "add-ons," employees could choose to select anti-reproduction insurance or not, depending on whether or not they actually needed it. Religious believers, the elderly, the infertile, the chaste, or those who already have anti-reproduction insurance through their spouse's coverage could opt out, saving themselves money instead of being forced to pay for something they truly don't need and don't intend to use. And employers who didn't wish to make anti-reproduction insurance available would not have to do so, protecting not only the conscience rights of religious employers, but also the financial rights of employers not to be forced to provide coverage for a so-called "health care" package of pills, prophylactics, implants, devices and surgeries which are not necessary for health, but only desired in order to facilitate recreational sex.
For that tiny handful of people whose doctors tell them (rightly or wrongly, depending on medical evidence) that hormonal contraception is their only solution for a legitimate medical issue, medical insurance could step in and cover it (the way that medical, not dental, insurance will cover some tooth-related problems when there's an underlying medical issue). But for the rest of the people who just want these things to facilitate their Sex Without Consequences lifestyle and practices, the anti-reproduction insurance policy would suffice.
The insurance industry would be motivated to create their own anti-reproduction insurance policies to compete with the big policies offered by corporations; in that way, a man who has pretty much decided to get himself fixed can buy a sterilization policy with a set number of premiums he must pay to get the surgery while avoiding having to subsidize someone else's girlfriend's Yasmin (tm) prescription. This open-marketplace approach would encourage competition and lower prices, making the dream of Promiscuity Without Consequences for All an achievable one.
Now, it will be objected that some small number of people may be too poor to buy their own anti-reproduction insurance policies, and may not be fortunate enough to work for an employer who chooses to provide one. But our nation is committed to the idea that no one is too poor to engage in mindless, meaningless, immoral fornication or sterile sex of any kind, and thus I'm sure that it will be a priority for our leaders to insist that those who qualify for Medicaid be automatically given anti-reproduction insurance as well. For the working poor, low-cost anti-reproduction insurance policies with the possibility of tax rebates to cover their purchase might be an option; and a government anti-reproduction insurance plan that anyone could buy might be discussed, too, though private insurance would probably beat such a plan on price and flexibility of options.
But the bottom line would be that no employer would be required to purchase and pay for anti-reproduction insurance for their employees, who would have plenty of other ways to get anti-reproduction insurance policies to cover their choice of the Sex Without Consequences lifestyle.
To me, there is at least one serious drawback to this idea: if insurance companies really did create and sell such policies, they would probably advertise them. Imagine hearing this ad on the radio:
MUSIC: Sad violins in, up, and under.
ANNOUNCER: Is your anti-reproduction insurance policy leaving you cold?
GIRLFRIEND: Not tonight, hon--I'm due for my next Depo-Provera (tm) shot.
BOYFRIEND: Aww, not again! Doesn't your anti-reproduction policy reimburse us for condoms when that happens?
GIRLFRIEND: No. My company bought (beat) bargain anti-reproduction insurance.
BOYFRIEND: You know I hate having to spend my own money on condoms! My last girlfriend's anti-reproduction insurance paid for them. Maybe you should switch to her company...
GIRLFRIEND: Hmm, maybe I should. What was the name of it again?
BOYFRIEND: You remember...NoTykes Insurance!
MUSIC: Bright orchestra, in and under.
ANNOUNCER: Here at NoTykes Insurance we understand your need for constantly available sex without reproduction, and have created a wide variety of anti-reproduction insurance policies sure to please every consumer. We offer comprehensive birth control plans, abortion riders, sterilization policies, and even condom-only plans for our male customers. We believe that you have the right to sex when, where, and however you want it, with no messy complications who will want you to feed, house, and educate them for the next eighteen years. Because sex is supposed to be fun, feel great, and happen when it's good for you, not when it's good for your anti-reproduction insurance policy provider!
SECOND ANNOUNCER (low and very quickly) Not all policies are available to all consumers. Sterilization plans require minimum premium purchase which varies depending on whether you want your reproductive organs surgically crippled or completely removed. If you are being treated for sex-addiction or have ever been convicted of rape or sexual assault our low-cost multi-pack condom plan with delivery guarantee may be unavailable. Other restrictions may apply; speak to one of our representatives for details.
BOYFRIEND: Now that she's switched to NoTykes, I'll never have to wait for sex again! Thanks, NoTykes!
ANNOUNCER: For the best in anti-reproduction insurance, choose NoTykes. Because your sex life...is our business!
MUSIC: Up and out.